She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
