Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
