did you get engaged???
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
