he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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