if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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