yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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