i would punch a child for taco bell
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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