Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize