Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
