I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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