I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
