Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My feet surprised me
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