ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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