She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
