Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
