Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
