The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
