Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
