anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
