i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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