weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
