you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize