So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Houston, we have a squirter
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We are all done wearing pants today
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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