Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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