hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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