I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
