Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize