Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize