her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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