so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
