Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
