Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
