Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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