I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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