Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
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I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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