found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
