i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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