I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
