he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
