Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize