My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
