Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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