I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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