Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
