i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
