Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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