i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
