my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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