This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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