there were more penises there than on chat roulette
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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