when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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