how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
