i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
