dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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