why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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