Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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