i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize