Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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