2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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