I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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