dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
