why didn't you poke me back
You smell like stripper and shame
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
