no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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