you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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