My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
