this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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