You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
