i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize