So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
