Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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